divorcediva

If any of you think that the courts really watch out for the best interest of children I challenge you to go watch live divorce court. Yes, you can do that. Most counties have open court rooms and you can just walk on in and observe the proceedings. You may be asked what you’re doing, but you can tell them, “observing” and you can go in as long as you’re not a party to the case.

 Recently I watched some divorce proceedings. I was appalled. I have no idea how a judge can make a decision on what he hears in the court room. I saw children being made to testify against their parents, usually by ONE parent. Each time this judge told the parent who was calling their child to the stand, “are you sure you want to do this?” Each time they said “yes” and each time the child was miserable and uncomfortable and being put in an awful position.

If I was a judge, unless there was some proved abuse involved, any parent who called their child to the stand to testify against the other parent for petty reasons would lose custody.

I’ve always said that when I got a divorce I chose to have to put my children first. When you’re married you put the marriage first, as you should. But when you divorce, the children have to now come first. You don’t allow your dislike of the other parent to cloud what is best for your children.

Some things I think are lousy for a parent to do after divorce.

1) Move away from the child

2) Move the child away from the other parent

3) Not pay child support

4) Lie about your ex not paying child support

5) Thinking you won’t have to work and earn money after divorce. Sorry but unless your ex is wealthy you’re going to have to work. It is unrealistic to think that you can stay home while the NCP lives under the bridge.

6) Talking bad about the other parent to the children- I find this sickening and disgusting. I don’t CARE what your ex did to you, leave the kids out of it.

7) Not showing up on time to pick up or deliver the kids- Whether NCP or CP you need to do things on time.

Not being flexible but expecting the other parent to be flexible. Either have some flexibility or don’t but you can’t have it both ways.

One question comes to mind after watching the court in action. Why does a judge make orders and then never make anyone follow them? The ONLY orders I saw being enforced had to do with money. Yes, money is important but so are other things like visitation, not moving without notice, and alienating the child from the other parent. Those things should be enforced with the same impact as the money issues.

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